26th September 2018

the Red Cliffs fall

You are presented with a warm inviting breeze welcoming you through the tall green gates, first hearing, then seeing your friends from a distance playing an intense game of tag on the playground which lies on top of the choppy layer of cinnamon bark. the caretaker leisurely mowing the last strip of grass creating stripes of different shaded greens, in preparation for the summer time. hearing teachers yelling in attempt to slow down the exhilarating speed of children dashing through the courtyard and down the hallways towards class in response to the bells blaring shriek, followed by the intimidating sound of feet stampeding across the asphalt. your eyes stare in astonishment at the sheer size of the copper coloured clay cliffs that extend above towering over the school dwarfing everything below. a violent vibration starts to erupt for beneath your feet causing severe disorientation. the colossal cliff vigorously factures abruptly, dismantling the cliffs skeleton causing the cliff to collapse. monstrous chunks of clay falling through the haze of powdered cliff leaving an utter clutter of disarray blanketing the school.

the gate swings open hesitatingly succeeded by a grating shrill coming from the hinges. I shly pace step by step across the tinged bronze sheet of deceased grass abandoned by the caretaker for generations. a ghost town inhabited only by dirt and deserted classrooms. I no longer hear the screams and shouts of children from a distance, nor do i hear the teachers. the bells also remain silent in a trance of hibernation. sprouts of lifeless weed flourishing through the playgrounds floor. verdant vines climb eagerly up the faded ply climbing wall. curious roots force their way up through the pavement creating a horizontal ladder climbing towards the courtyard. the windows of the hollow classrooms are littered with networks of sticky cobwebs. bottomless cracks and ruptures riddle the concrete basketball court. behind the classrooms rest giant compact chunks of dehydrated mud that can only dream about being attached to the now lonely cliff face. the remaining cliff casts a dominating shadow leaving the school of abandonment forever alone in a gloom of darkness. 

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  1. There are some engaging images presented across two different timeframes here, Zak – Well done. Please complete this writing, then read through each paragraph out loud to ensure that the sentence structures are accurate. You may also wish to vary your syntax in places, causing some sentences to flow together and others to be separated – this would create some effective links or breaks. Lastly, watch any unnecessary repetition of vocabulary or sentence starters.

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